While browsing the posts in a student midwife group on Facebook I came across a recommendation from a fellow student midwife to newly accepted student midwife at Bastyr University. She wrote:
"Hello everyone! I am new to the group and so excited to be here. I'm starting Bastyr's midwifery program this fall. I'm wondering if anyone has any summer reading recommendations. What have been the most helpful books and resources in your midwifery education? Thanks!" The first comment began, "If you haven't read "The Spirit Catches You and You Fall Down," that's one book you can get out of the way this summer." I had never heard of the book before and the title intrigued me. I have had very little time for reading for pleasure while in school but I have taken a great liking to listening to audiobooks while driving many hours (up to 8 hours of driving a week not including births) to my clinical site. I decided to find the book and see if I could get it in audio format. I am so grateful I did! I subscribe to the Audible membership and I was able to find a downloadable version of the book for my iPhone. I began listening to the book the next day while driving to clinic. I was captivated by the very first chapter Birth. The perfect bait for a midwife! The book had turned out to be my favorite since beginning midwifery training. It will likely remain at the top of my list for a very long time. The publisher provides the following introduction to the book: "The Spirit Catches You and You Fall Down explores the clash between a small county hospital in California and a refugee family from Laos over the care of Lia Lee, a Hmong child diagnosed with severe epilepsy. Lia's parents and her doctors both wanted what was best for Lia, but the lack of understanding between them led to tragedy. Winner of the National Book Critics Circle Award for Nonfiction, the Los Angeles Times Book Prize for Current Interest, and the Salon Book Award, Anne Fadiman's compassionate account of this cultural impasse is literary journalism at its finest." The website Good Reads summarizes the book as: 'Lia Lee was born in 1981 to a family of recent Hmong immigrants, and soon developed symptoms of epilepsy. By 1988 she was living at home but was brain dead after a tragic cycle of misunderstanding, over-medication, and culture clash: "What the doctors viewed as clinical efficiency the Hmong viewed as frosty arrogance." The Spirit Catches You and You Fall Down is a tragedy of Shakespearean dimensions, written with the deepest of human feeling. Sherwin Nuland said of the account, "There are no villains in Fadiman's tale, just as there are no heroes. People are presented as she saw them, in their humility and their frailty--and their nobility."' I think what beckoned me in the story most was the tale of the mother. Her harrowing fight to protect her child and understand the doctor's recommendations and finally to care for her beloved daughter is nothing less than heroic. The weaving of the tale from the point of view of the family and the doctors as well as many other "experts" gives the story a complete picture that I wish we had in all case studies encountered in the media. Often the newsflash that a family is heartbroken with an outcome and the midwife is to blame but rarely is the full story ever shared because of privacy concerns. Ms. Fadiman does an exquisite job of investigating and documenting the story from every conceivable angle. In the end you can neither find fault with the parents, nor the doctors and the only sadness I feel in laying any blame is on society at large for the misunderstanding that exist to this day when it comes to cultural communication. I hope to be an ally in the world for the refugees among us. My review on Audible. My review on Good Reads.
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As I add thoughts and reflections to my pages here on the ePortfolio I have contemplated this phase in "becoming" a midwife. I'd like to introduce a new thought to this concept. Some argue with the notion that apprentices and students should be referred to as "midwives". I'd like to challenge this. As I come closer and closer to the goal of graduation I realize how much I have grown during this time of intense study and training. At the same time, I am more and more aware of the preparation I've experienced during all other periods of my life that have laid the groundwork for the midwife I am. Each has a path to take that will lead to their ultimate destination and as the White Rabbit answered Alice's question "Would you tell me, please, which way I ought to go from here?" saying, "That depends a good deal on where you want to get to." I've always been on this path.
I've always been a midwife, I will always be a midwife. I am finding out more about my true nature during this time in my education than I have during any other except for maybe when I was actively engaged in childbearing and rearing. I pray that I might enjoy the playing of my opus and the dance of my ballet as much as I enjoyed the years of singing the whispers of lullabies.
Shared in April 2016 by Kristi Ridd-Young President of the Midwives College of Utah at the Spring student conference. This message penetrated me to the core.
WOW! Who know how excited I would be to be almost finished!!! This was the first step I took, I registered for a DONA doula training.
As I peer into the past from this stage of my education I am grateful that I made this my mantra in the beginning. I am so proud of the progress I made and at the same time I am humbled by the journey.
The nature of the path to becoming a certified professional midwife is not an easy flat straight course. My recent ups and downs have brought me to the depths of my courage and faith. This meme represents exactly what I have been using to move ahead in the past few days.
The desire to complete my clinical requirements has been a source of great worry of late. Challenges occur much more than triumphs right now. As I listened to my motivation playlist this morning I was brought to the depth of relief from the worry about how or when I will be finished. This hymn is the cry of my heart today and brought me such peace to sing aloud. I am fully and completely committed to the journey I am on, I need reminders often the I was led here and I know my passion of Divine origin.
You may have read on my Home page that I dream of the day that my descendants learn of my work. I hope to make them proud. Last August I participated in a "Transitioning and Visioning Gathering" with other students in their final year at MCU. As it turns out this will not come to pass for me as it will take me more than that to complete my clinical requirements to graduate. I guess you my say my senior year will take more like 18 months but that is beside the point. In the session we were to write the description of our future practice to use as a vision of what we are building. I wrote mine in the voice of a granddaughter sharing her report about me to classmates in school. Here is the vision I am working toward: Nana is a midwife. A midwife helps mothers to give birth to their babies. Sometimes I get to go and visit Nana in her office. She checks on the health of the mother and baby at least every month. Her favorite tool is her Pinard horn. By placing it on the mother's belly and her ear on the other side she can hear the baby's heart beating. When it is time for the baby to be born the mother arrives at her birth center early so she can be very comfortable while she works to give birth to her baby. A monitrice attends the mother. She is trained to massage the mother, help her to stay peaceful and checks on the the mother and her baby until it is time for Nana to arrive. When Nana and her students arrive the mother is almost ready to have her baby. The room the mother gives birth in has been chosen by the mother and decorated with her vision board, prayer flags or birth altar if she chooses. Nana and her students guard the birth space as a sacred place only entering to monitor the mother and baby as needed. The lights are kept low and voices are soft to maintain the reverence for the laboring mother. Sometimes as morning breaks the baby arrives straight into his mother's waiting hands. His father holds his mother as he kisses her forehead they embrace in joy and weep softly as tears of gratitude softly fall on Nana's cheeks. This is her favorite moment of birth. After the placenta is delivered the mother is tucked into the warm bed where the new family snuggles. The monitrice says her goodbyes as Nana and her students step out to call the postpartum doula to the birth center. She is the first of three who will attend the mother for the first day. The mother and baby are examined in the birth suite after they have had their golden hour. The doula arrives and brings in the first serving of the meals prepared to warm and nourish the mother. The family has their first meal together as Nana checks on her and baby periodically for the first couple of hours. Afterward she will be in the capable hands of the doula. As Nana and her students say their goodbyes to the family the doula takes over care, feeding the family, coaching the mother about baby care and breastfeeding, preparing the placenta and cleaning the birth center. Nana goes home to rest soundly because her sister midwives will take care of her appointments and any births for the next 24 hours while she gets some much needed sleep. I love to watch Nana work and hear about the new babies. Maybe someday I will be a midwife. I know when I have a baby Nana will be there to help me. I'm sure there will be changes to this vision but it is beautiful for me to think of a practice like this someday. I wanted it to be recorded here. Have you recorded what your dream practice will look like? It is a lovely way to focus when days are long and nights are longer with assignments and projects crowding the real joys of clinical work. I hope you will enjoy my vision. Lately I've continued to see the priceless lessons of life as preparing me to be a midwife. They have also given me a greater perspective on the values I hold dear. Time is a undervalued teacher. When I began my midwifery journey I thought the goal needed to be defined by a time limit. Time limits, deadlines or due dates can create a sense of urgency when the sun rises or the sun sets on another day and you feel no closer to the end. When reflecting backward in time however over a period of months or in my case years you can see a much longer preparation that has been taking place to prepare for the achievement you desperately desire.
I think this is one of the advantages of becoming a midwife at my age, time. I have, in some ways, more time, even though I have less. I am fond of the book "Goddesses Never Age" by Christiane Northrup, M.D. I appreciate her wisdom, "It is your beliefs—and the behavior that stems from those beliefs—that largely determines your experience of moving through time." I am learning that the movement through time is much more enjoyable when we are not rushing to the next destination, goal, or dream. When life give you lemons, make lemonade, the old adage goes, but, sometimes, you need to taste the bitter so you can know the sweet; or make lemon merengue pie; or savor the scent of the fresh lemon peel. Whatever you need to do with the lessons life is handing you, roll with it, you will find your learning journey is much more enjoyable this way.
Last night as I sat down at my computer exhausted from a long drive after clinic I watched my motivational videos and listened to the music and the song from the "Rule Yourself" Michael Phelps ad was on my mind. I searched for the original music and found it on YouTube. It is an appropriate message for my evening yesterday. I feel like the extensions to complete the Genetics class has been like a long overdue goodbye to a bad lover (not that I'd actually know what that feels like). I need to say this last goodbye! I will finish this, the last course at MCU. This is my last goodbye!!!
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Why MusingsThe page I have called Musings is a blog of sorts. I invite you to read my Home page to learn the reasons I had for creating this ePortfolio and how it all started. In it you will find that this ePortfolio began as a learning tool for future students at the Midwives College of Utah. The ePortfolio will become a requirement beginning in the Fall 2016 semester. I also recommend it for former students still finishing their studies and looking for a way to develop their future practice's website, share with potential clients or potential preceptors, and as a very in depth resume of sorts. I invite you to read my musings during the creation of this ePortfolio in the hope that it may strengthen your devotion to your studies, build your determination to answer your call, and be encouraged by the sharing of my musings as I complete this task. Archives
October 2016
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